So I noticed I did not write in here in forever!! :(
Don't worry, I have a bunch of letters that I need to write as well.
Where are they?? Sitting on my table sadly awaiting the day that I have an inspiration on what to write or am in the mood to even think of writing!! Anyone else do this?
I am a fantastic procrastinater at times! :( Sad, I know!
What to write..........................................................................................................
........hmmmm.................
Well, I think I have finally decided what my New Years resolution is going to be.. (told you I procrastinate!) Ha!!
#1 I am going to keep my eyes wide open to each tiny little detail that God puts in my life! Instead of focusing so much on how many friends I DON'T have or how many times I feel like I am excluded, I will focus on those people whom God places in my life at each moment! :) I will try to be a friend or be kind to all even if they snob me or are mean!
I am going to focus on what I do have instead of what I want!! Oh, I know I will still want things and all that, but I am asking God to keep my eyes on HIM rather then things... It is so sad to see how many people are all about how many things the can have and who has the biggest and best! :( (and I am including myself here as well!)
#2 I am going to eat healthy. Not to lose weight, that just makes me frustrated and then I give up! But, I am going to eat like I want my son to eat! :) So we got lots of fruits and vegetables to eat.... Thanks to God that we live in a country where things like that are readily available!
#3 I am going to do my best and GIVE GOD THE REST!! That is all I CAN do! God is so good He wants to give His children the best, but so often we get in His way! :( God, help me to stay in the co-pilot seat and not try to be the pilot! Never works very well that way! :)
#4 I am going for my GED classes!! Someone is paying the way for me to get it finally!! :) I am so excited about it (haha) but also sad that the classes are on a Wed night so, then I will for sure not be able to go to prayer at church! :(
So.....that is it for now... (don't want too many or I will never remember them!)
And now I am scared...everytime I think I am on top of some of the struggles I face the devil comes along and makes things really horrible again :( Thankfully we serve a God who rescues us when we call on Him!!
So maybe I am not scared now...hmmm...whatever, enough! Time for something else! :)
Good bye! And to all who do take the time to read my jabbering, I love you very much and hope to see you all in heaven!! Please be my friend too! :)
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Thursday, December 17, 2009
7 things you may not know about me!....You have been tagged!
Hmm...
1. When I was 2 yrs old and my brother was a few weeks old, my mom left us in the car with it running while she ran in to get milk at the Amish neighbors house.... Well, I got out of my seat (and this is in the OLD days when cars had no safety measures like they do now!) , put the car in drive and....away we went!! mom screamed but was frozen to the spot at the window, the amish heard her scream, ran out and stopped the car JUST as we pushed through the fence around the manure pit, one wheel hanging over the edge of the pit! I distinctly remember being paddled by both mom AND dad! :(
2. I have one brother and two sisters. I played with my brother more then I did my sisters. ur favorite thing to do.....go out in the shop and either explore dark corners or whatever came to mind that day! We had to take a bath EVERYDAY as we were covered in grease from head to toe! Maybe that is why I am a "grease monkey" LOL!
3. Before I was allowed to get my license my dad made me learn how to change a tire, change oil, do a maintenance check, and DRIVE a 5 SPEED! wow! Talk about a hair raising experience there! :) He had an old 1982 F150 that I learned on and ...well, lets say it was not the nicest shifting vehicle! But I was determined to master it so I could get my license, and I did!! Even made it starting off on the 772 hill at 23 in Leola! (It is a steep hill, even automatics coast backward on that hill)
4. I want more then one baby and struggle with why God lets everyone else get pregnant but me! ???!! But I am learning that all things work together for good to those that love Him....in HIS time, not mine.... :(
5. I tore my ligament, broke my knee cap and chipped other bones and ruined the cartiledge in my knee all from a game of softball! I was 11 years old then.... Then when I was 18 I injured it again playing volleyball. I then had knee suregery done and it has since been a LOT less painful!! Still bugs me in the cold and when I try running etc...
6. I HATED school but loved the school work??!! Huh?? Yeah, I know I am weird! So when I became a teacher it was great! I got to go to school and try to like it this time! LOL I taught for 3 years..
7. I went on a missionary trip to Guatemala a few months before my wedding and almost did not come home! I so wanted to stay! Loved it!
Hmm...
1. When I was 2 yrs old and my brother was a few weeks old, my mom left us in the car with it running while she ran in to get milk at the Amish neighbors house.... Well, I got out of my seat (and this is in the OLD days when cars had no safety measures like they do now!) , put the car in drive and....away we went!! mom screamed but was frozen to the spot at the window, the amish heard her scream, ran out and stopped the car JUST as we pushed through the fence around the manure pit, one wheel hanging over the edge of the pit! I distinctly remember being paddled by both mom AND dad! :(
2. I have one brother and two sisters. I played with my brother more then I did my sisters. ur favorite thing to do.....go out in the shop and either explore dark corners or whatever came to mind that day! We had to take a bath EVERYDAY as we were covered in grease from head to toe! Maybe that is why I am a "grease monkey" LOL!
3. Before I was allowed to get my license my dad made me learn how to change a tire, change oil, do a maintenance check, and DRIVE a 5 SPEED! wow! Talk about a hair raising experience there! :) He had an old 1982 F150 that I learned on and ...well, lets say it was not the nicest shifting vehicle! But I was determined to master it so I could get my license, and I did!! Even made it starting off on the 772 hill at 23 in Leola! (It is a steep hill, even automatics coast backward on that hill)
4. I want more then one baby and struggle with why God lets everyone else get pregnant but me! ???!! But I am learning that all things work together for good to those that love Him....in HIS time, not mine.... :(
5. I tore my ligament, broke my knee cap and chipped other bones and ruined the cartiledge in my knee all from a game of softball! I was 11 years old then.... Then when I was 18 I injured it again playing volleyball. I then had knee suregery done and it has since been a LOT less painful!! Still bugs me in the cold and when I try running etc...
6. I HATED school but loved the school work??!! Huh?? Yeah, I know I am weird! So when I became a teacher it was great! I got to go to school and try to like it this time! LOL I taught for 3 years..
7. I went on a missionary trip to Guatemala a few months before my wedding and almost did not come home! I so wanted to stay! Loved it!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Another round of things I am thankful for..........
#1. A pastor who loves the Lord with all his heart and preaches the truth!
#2. The freedom to worship the Lord.
#3. Being allowed to read the Bible and not have to hide it from authorities.
#4. A church family who cares for others.
#5. Blankets to keep us warm. :)
#6. Our forefathers who set up the freedom in our country.
#7. Good Christian books that help to encourage us and edify us in our walk with God.
#8. Friends who tell it like it is! (preferrably nicely though) LOL
#9. Prayer!! So important!
#10. Radio stations that are God-focused.
#11. Artists who praise God in song!
#12. The mailman for delivering my mail faithfully and regularly!
#13. All the behind the scenes people who help to make this world what it is!
#14. My mother who has quietly tried to teach me right from wrong.
#15. My father who has been the provider and leader in our childhood home.
#16. Cindy Wendland, who has many of the same trials that I do and has been such an encouragement to me by remaining strong in her faith after all these years of suffering!! Thank you Cindy!
#17. For Sharon Martin who has been a friend even when I was not a good friend! Love you!
#18. And of course all the people who are there to encourage me just when I think I am going to quit!
#19. For my son Brent who is healthy!
#20. For all the future children that I am BELIEVING God will send my way someday!
#21. For jobs that provide income to pay bills.
#22. For neighbors who are there for you when you need them.
#23. For hot water heaters, no more waiting till you got enough water boiled to fill a tub! I have done that for a few of my married years! Manageable but you cannot imagine :)
#24. For the pastors wife, Dixie, who is a real blessing to so many people! You have helped me so much already! Love you!
#25. For inventors who have invented things that make our life a bit more comfortable! Things we now seem to think we can no longer live without :)
#26. For food on the table.
#27. A roof over our heads, even if it leaks at times :S it is still better then none! :)
#28. For gasoline, even when the price tag hurts. If you do not like it GET A HORSE for crying out loud! :)
#29. I think I am going to mention God again! He is just so wonderful, He provides for us, cares for us, leads us in the paths of righteousness, strengthens us and the list goes on and on!
#30. For those who are willing to lay down their very lives and their childrens lives when persecuted for their faith! What a testimony! We live in such a free country, how would we respond if asked to denounce God or lose our lives or those of our children?
#31. Again for the freedom to live our lives for God. How are you serving Him?
Ok, my mind is again drawing a blank so I will try again another day!
#1. A pastor who loves the Lord with all his heart and preaches the truth!
#2. The freedom to worship the Lord.
#3. Being allowed to read the Bible and not have to hide it from authorities.
#4. A church family who cares for others.
#5. Blankets to keep us warm. :)
#6. Our forefathers who set up the freedom in our country.
#7. Good Christian books that help to encourage us and edify us in our walk with God.
#8. Friends who tell it like it is! (preferrably nicely though) LOL
#9. Prayer!! So important!
#10. Radio stations that are God-focused.
#11. Artists who praise God in song!
#12. The mailman for delivering my mail faithfully and regularly!
#13. All the behind the scenes people who help to make this world what it is!
#14. My mother who has quietly tried to teach me right from wrong.
#15. My father who has been the provider and leader in our childhood home.
#16. Cindy Wendland, who has many of the same trials that I do and has been such an encouragement to me by remaining strong in her faith after all these years of suffering!! Thank you Cindy!
#17. For Sharon Martin who has been a friend even when I was not a good friend! Love you!
#18. And of course all the people who are there to encourage me just when I think I am going to quit!
#19. For my son Brent who is healthy!
#20. For all the future children that I am BELIEVING God will send my way someday!
#21. For jobs that provide income to pay bills.
#22. For neighbors who are there for you when you need them.
#23. For hot water heaters, no more waiting till you got enough water boiled to fill a tub! I have done that for a few of my married years! Manageable but you cannot imagine :)
#24. For the pastors wife, Dixie, who is a real blessing to so many people! You have helped me so much already! Love you!
#25. For inventors who have invented things that make our life a bit more comfortable! Things we now seem to think we can no longer live without :)
#26. For food on the table.
#27. A roof over our heads, even if it leaks at times :S it is still better then none! :)
#28. For gasoline, even when the price tag hurts. If you do not like it GET A HORSE for crying out loud! :)
#29. I think I am going to mention God again! He is just so wonderful, He provides for us, cares for us, leads us in the paths of righteousness, strengthens us and the list goes on and on!
#30. For those who are willing to lay down their very lives and their childrens lives when persecuted for their faith! What a testimony! We live in such a free country, how would we respond if asked to denounce God or lose our lives or those of our children?
#31. Again for the freedom to live our lives for God. How are you serving Him?
Ok, my mind is again drawing a blank so I will try again another day!
Saturday, November 14, 2009
365 days of Thanksgiving!!??
Ok so we are to prasie and thank God every day not only the month of Thanksgiving, so..... I am about to see if I can come up with a thanks for every day!
1...thankful for wash to fold; it means we have clothes to wear.
2....dishes to wash; means there is food to eat.
3...son who is hyper; means he is healthy.
4....husband who yells :( it means I do have a husband!
5..when I stub my toe; I still have feelings in my body and can still walk.
6...an alarm that rings; means I can still hear!
7...house work; we have a house to live in.
8...thankful for how awful medicine tastes; it means we can afford it!
9...for vehicle repairs; we have a vehicle!
10...for mean people; help remind me to love like Christ loved me.
11...ABOVE ALL thankful for the fact that God loved me so much He gave His Son to die for our sins so that we could go to heaven with HIm!!
12...friends who truly care and love to be with you.
13..family who does what they can to help shape you into the adult you are.
14...propane bills; we have heat.
15..electric bills; we do not live in the dark or need to read by candlelight.
16...when the electric goes out; reminds us to be grateful for it when we have it.
17...water to drink, without having to walk miles for it.
18...winter; the cold kills the flu bugs.
19...snow; makes everything so clean looking. And to think we are washed WHITER then snow!!
20...Spring; makes everything so pretty and fresh.
21..Autumn; love the brilliant colors and cooler weather,
22...Summer; love the warm summer sunshine and SWIMMING!
23...thankful we live in Iowa; we have room to breathe! :)
24...thankful family is 1100 miles away; it makes us cherish the few times we are together.
25...traffic jams; teaches you patience! :S
26...church family who help encourage you to press forward.
27...corn burners that break; reminds me how thankful I am when we have heat.
28...warm hugs and kisses from my son and of course friends hugs too!
29...for my memory..
30...my health.
31...a God who will provide for us today, tomorrow and the next week, year, century!
Ok well, I am running out of things to write today!! I guess that was one month, now I will have to think awhile and then do some more......
I dare you to try and think of 365 things you are thankful for!! :)
1...thankful for wash to fold; it means we have clothes to wear.
2....dishes to wash; means there is food to eat.
3...son who is hyper; means he is healthy.
4....husband who yells :( it means I do have a husband!
5..when I stub my toe; I still have feelings in my body and can still walk.
6...an alarm that rings; means I can still hear!
7...house work; we have a house to live in.
8...thankful for how awful medicine tastes; it means we can afford it!
9...for vehicle repairs; we have a vehicle!
10...for mean people; help remind me to love like Christ loved me.
11...ABOVE ALL thankful for the fact that God loved me so much He gave His Son to die for our sins so that we could go to heaven with HIm!!
12...friends who truly care and love to be with you.
13..family who does what they can to help shape you into the adult you are.
14...propane bills; we have heat.
15..electric bills; we do not live in the dark or need to read by candlelight.
16...when the electric goes out; reminds us to be grateful for it when we have it.
17...water to drink, without having to walk miles for it.
18...winter; the cold kills the flu bugs.
19...snow; makes everything so clean looking. And to think we are washed WHITER then snow!!
20...Spring; makes everything so pretty and fresh.
21..Autumn; love the brilliant colors and cooler weather,
22...Summer; love the warm summer sunshine and SWIMMING!
23...thankful we live in Iowa; we have room to breathe! :)
24...thankful family is 1100 miles away; it makes us cherish the few times we are together.
25...traffic jams; teaches you patience! :S
26...church family who help encourage you to press forward.
27...corn burners that break; reminds me how thankful I am when we have heat.
28...warm hugs and kisses from my son and of course friends hugs too!
29...for my memory..
30...my health.
31...a God who will provide for us today, tomorrow and the next week, year, century!
Ok well, I am running out of things to write today!! I guess that was one month, now I will have to think awhile and then do some more......
I dare you to try and think of 365 things you are thankful for!! :)
Friday, November 13, 2009
Storms of life
So it is way past time I updated this once!
Well, this is a very trying time in my life again...No one can really understand unless they have been there! My husband has once more been laid off for the winter, knew it was coming months back, and we have as of yet to find a job to replace it! It is soooo hard to believe that good will come out of this!
Brent is growing out of his clothes, we have no propane for the furnace, the corn burner quit working and my cupboards are becoming very bare! I worry that Brent will get sick or starve and all that stuff! I worry we will lose our house and live on the streets!
Don't get me wrong, I do not sit around all day worrying about it but it does come on to me!
So everytime it comes to my mind, what if? I have decreed to pray about it! Well, it seems all I do is worry, pray, worry, pray!
And really, where are friends who call you or message you and say, we care! We may not know how it is but we want to be there for you!
I think the #1 thing I am learning in this is: Do not just say we care when you do not, and do not try to fix it for them but pray with them and for them! Give them time and friendship! NEVER say to anyone that they are lazy or dumb or whatever! NEVER get so wrapped up in family and close friends so much that you do not have time for them......
This morning I read John 6:16-21....Our lives are so like the churning sea that the disciples sailed on that night. When Jesus walked on the water all the troubles were under his feet. So as we struggle to row through the storms of life we can know that He is in control and that all the troubles are under his feet..... What a wonderful feeling!
And no that does not mean that the human nature never rears up again but that when it does we can lean on Him for comfort...
I still do not know what God has planned here but PLEASE join me in praying that Steve might find his calling and follow his dreams and that I could be a faithful helper through this all! Thank you!
`
Well, this is a very trying time in my life again...No one can really understand unless they have been there! My husband has once more been laid off for the winter, knew it was coming months back, and we have as of yet to find a job to replace it! It is soooo hard to believe that good will come out of this!
Brent is growing out of his clothes, we have no propane for the furnace, the corn burner quit working and my cupboards are becoming very bare! I worry that Brent will get sick or starve and all that stuff! I worry we will lose our house and live on the streets!
Don't get me wrong, I do not sit around all day worrying about it but it does come on to me!
So everytime it comes to my mind, what if? I have decreed to pray about it! Well, it seems all I do is worry, pray, worry, pray!
And really, where are friends who call you or message you and say, we care! We may not know how it is but we want to be there for you!
I think the #1 thing I am learning in this is: Do not just say we care when you do not, and do not try to fix it for them but pray with them and for them! Give them time and friendship! NEVER say to anyone that they are lazy or dumb or whatever! NEVER get so wrapped up in family and close friends so much that you do not have time for them......
This morning I read John 6:16-21....Our lives are so like the churning sea that the disciples sailed on that night. When Jesus walked on the water all the troubles were under his feet. So as we struggle to row through the storms of life we can know that He is in control and that all the troubles are under his feet..... What a wonderful feeling!
And no that does not mean that the human nature never rears up again but that when it does we can lean on Him for comfort...
I still do not know what God has planned here but PLEASE join me in praying that Steve might find his calling and follow his dreams and that I could be a faithful helper through this all! Thank you!
`
Saturday, September 5, 2009
A poem from my heart
God there are so many questions I long to ask
There are so many answers I desperately seek
Like why was I created? What purpose do I serve?
How do I become more like you, lowly and meek?
Why do I carry such a heavy cross?
When others seem to glide on by,
why do I walk this road all alone?
And others are too busy to help me cry?
What is the purpose of being abused,
Left alone at the side of the road?
what is it you are trying to tell me,
Asking me to bear this heavy load?
Why does it feel like you left me?
Or am I walking away from you?
How do I draw closer to lean on you?
By going to church and sitting in the pew?
I've cried and prayed and read your word
Yet still, here I sit crying alone,
Where are you God? Why am I so lonely?
Oh, where are you God? Please don't throw a stone.
I am so battered and bruised
So weary and worn
Have been feeling this way
Since the day I was born.
Sure there have been days
Where I felt cherished and loved
Not by earthly beings
But by God above.
So God if you love me so much
Why do you do you allow the very one I love
To tear me to bits and crush me to powder
When will you take me to heaven above?
All these people here below
they laugh and tell me not to worry
They pretend to be your friend for awhile
But soon they turn and leave you in a hurry.
I am trying to trust you Lord, in what'er betide
You promised never to leave me
To come to me when ever I call
So I am begging you down on my knees,
Come, oh please, come to me
Carry me far away
Help me dear God
To get through this day.
And the next, and the next, and the next........
One day at a time, please Jesus.
That's all I am asking of you........
There are so many answers I desperately seek
Like why was I created? What purpose do I serve?
How do I become more like you, lowly and meek?
Why do I carry such a heavy cross?
When others seem to glide on by,
why do I walk this road all alone?
And others are too busy to help me cry?
What is the purpose of being abused,
Left alone at the side of the road?
what is it you are trying to tell me,
Asking me to bear this heavy load?
Why does it feel like you left me?
Or am I walking away from you?
How do I draw closer to lean on you?
By going to church and sitting in the pew?
I've cried and prayed and read your word
Yet still, here I sit crying alone,
Where are you God? Why am I so lonely?
Oh, where are you God? Please don't throw a stone.
I am so battered and bruised
So weary and worn
Have been feeling this way
Since the day I was born.
Sure there have been days
Where I felt cherished and loved
Not by earthly beings
But by God above.
So God if you love me so much
Why do you do you allow the very one I love
To tear me to bits and crush me to powder
When will you take me to heaven above?
All these people here below
they laugh and tell me not to worry
They pretend to be your friend for awhile
But soon they turn and leave you in a hurry.
I am trying to trust you Lord, in what'er betide
You promised never to leave me
To come to me when ever I call
So I am begging you down on my knees,
Come, oh please, come to me
Carry me far away
Help me dear God
To get through this day.
And the next, and the next, and the next........
One day at a time, please Jesus.
That's all I am asking of you........
Saturday, August 29, 2009
searching, pain, God
Today was one of those days that comes twice a year for me......
Having to help butcher over 600 chickens in Alta Vista. Not exactly a job I love but.....Hey, someones got to do it.
So, I was set to work cleaning the hearts, livers and gizzard. Those of you who do not know, the gizzard is a heart shaped organ where the chickens food passes through. It has a strong lining inside so we need to cut it open and pul that lining out and clean it. Sometimes that lining can be down right stubborn about coming out, and that set me to thinking.....
Since this is heart shaped, my thoughts went like this;
When we ask God to clean our heart, He too will want to 'rip' out the old lining and wash it clean. But how often do I kick and scream saying, "Ow, Lord that hurts too much, just do this part. Let the rest go it isn't THAT bad."
So I began to wonder, will I allow God to 'rip' it all out? Will I allow Him to get rid of it all, no matter how painful? Will I give Him everything? Only then can He truly clean my whole heart.
I don't know about you, but I know I have some more heart searching to do. Maybe that is a life long process, I don't know.
But, I for one will never look at a chicken the same again! ;) Maybe they aren't as dumb as we think. LOL....
Having to help butcher over 600 chickens in Alta Vista. Not exactly a job I love but.....Hey, someones got to do it.
So, I was set to work cleaning the hearts, livers and gizzard. Those of you who do not know, the gizzard is a heart shaped organ where the chickens food passes through. It has a strong lining inside so we need to cut it open and pul that lining out and clean it. Sometimes that lining can be down right stubborn about coming out, and that set me to thinking.....
Since this is heart shaped, my thoughts went like this;
When we ask God to clean our heart, He too will want to 'rip' out the old lining and wash it clean. But how often do I kick and scream saying, "Ow, Lord that hurts too much, just do this part. Let the rest go it isn't THAT bad."
So I began to wonder, will I allow God to 'rip' it all out? Will I allow Him to get rid of it all, no matter how painful? Will I give Him everything? Only then can He truly clean my whole heart.
I don't know about you, but I know I have some more heart searching to do. Maybe that is a life long process, I don't know.
But, I for one will never look at a chicken the same again! ;) Maybe they aren't as dumb as we think. LOL....
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